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When Your Relationship's Bond Hits a Speed Bump

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It's a fallacy to think that a good relationship should
be smooth sailing all the time. "Rough spots are a
normal part of the dating cycle, and they don't mean you're
doomed as a couple," says psychotherapist Ann Langley,
PhD.

Couplescanfind their way through a murky
period, but regaining the footing in a relationship that's
struggling is tricky. The first step, experts say, is figuring
outwhythe bliss bubble burst — whether it was due to
internal factors, like differing views on marriage and kids,
or external factors, like the stress brought on by work
commitments.

Once you settle on
the root cause, you
need to get your feelings
out in the open. "Try having a talk outside the house,
such as at a park or other public area, to distinguish the
discussion as more significant than a concern that you
might mention in passing over the phone or at dinner,"
suggests Sam R. Hamburg, PhD, author ofWill Our
Love Last?
During the chat, go back and forth in one- to
two-minute intervals. That way, you will both have ample
time to air any grievances without either of you feeling
overwhelmed by the other.

As for whether taking a break is beneficial, there is no
one right answer. If you feel like you've lost your sense of
self, a hiatus can help you regain your independence.
Ultimately, though, it's important to face the issues and
decide together if they are surmountable, says Langley.

Oftentimes, problems crop up because a couple has
grown distant and lost sight of the things that made them
fall in love in the first place, says George Weinberg, PhD,
author ofWhy Men Won't Commit.To rekindle those
early-stage feelings, go back to the date places you frequented
back then. And make a concerted effort to
connect more physically. "Sex releases oxytocin, which
is a bonding hormone," says Langley.

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Your chances of weathering a turbulent period increase
if you both are still invested emotionally, have set forth a
strategy for avoiding past pitfalls, and have the same long-term
goals. "Chemistry is important, but it's critical to be
on the same wavelength about where your relationship is
headed," says Hamburg. Perhaps the most key factor in
patching things up is deciding that the quality of your life
is better when your partner is in it. If that's true, then you're
one step closer to fighting for your bond's survival.






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Date: 01.01.2019, 16:52 / Views: 44441