Sex after 50: Men, Women, Hormones, Sex and Relationship Advice!
How To Have Hot Sex Without Hormones
Menopause can be surprisingly hot—and no, we’re not talking about hot flashes. A recent study published in theJournal of Sexual Medicinesurveyed more than 600 French women who ranged in age from 45 to 55 and found that frequency and satisfaction of sexual encounters did not greatly differ between pre and post-menopausal women. Furthermore, 35% of menopausal women said they were “very satisfied” with their sex lives (compared to 33.6% of non-menopausal women).
In other words? It’s a myth that menopause means the end of sex. “The best predictor of a good sex life after menopause is a good sex life before menopause,” says Margery M. Gass, MD, executive director of the North American Menopause Society. That said, some physical changes may have a temporary impact on satisfaction. Here, a few tweaks to ensure that life between the sheets stays lusty as ever. (Psst: They’re also effective in cranking up the lust in women of all ages.)
Add lube.“Some women notice dryness during menopause, which can lead to discomfort during intercourse,” says Dr. Gass. This is easily fixable with an over-the-counter lubricant such as Astroglide or KY jelly. (Or you can always splurge for the even sexier organic lube.) Have your partner apply it to make application less clinical, and re-apply as needed during intercourse.
Try a toy.Using a vibrator is a great way to maximize pleasure, but it can also help you tune into how your body responds to different sensations, explains Dr. Gass. And there are more options on the market than ever, from finger-attached vibrators that focus on clitoral stimulation to vibrators like the We-Vibe, which is worn while your partner is inside you. Novelty can also add to intimacy: Even if it feels a bit awkward at first, trying something new can bond you and your partner. (Check out the 8 All-Natural Sex Toys We Love!)
Talk to your doctor.“Menopausal women may assume that any sexual dysfunction is a result of menopause and don’t bring it up with their clinician," says Dr. Gass. "But in many cases, the problem stems from elsewhere.” By letting your doctor know about any pain or problems with orgasm, he or she can help you find a solution.
… And keep your partner in the loop, too. You wouldn’t expect to play soccer the same way you did when you were a forward on your varsity high school team, and the same is true for sex. “Sex is just one activity we approach differently as we get older,” says Dr. Gass. But "differently" isn’t a euphemism for less fulfilling.
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