The #1 Cure for Your Broken Heart - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy
How to Avoid Heartache in a Relationship
Relationships are vital for a healthy, happy life for everyone, whether it be a romantic relationship with a partner or spouse, a family relationship with your parents, a friendly relationship with your friends, or a professional relationship with your work colleagues. They play a key role in a human being's survival. However, as with everything, there are problems and sometimes pain. Maintaining your relationships is very important and should be treated as a priority.
Communicate often and openly.Communication is the backbone of every relationship. Understand that everything you do is sending a message which people will try to decipher into information. The expressions you wear on your face, the way you walk, and your words are all forms of communication.
- Speak with the person; communicate your feelings clearly.
- Don't be vague or send "hints", as these could be misconstrued and then neither of you are truly happy.
- Be honest about what you're feeling or thinking, but never use honesty as a weapon.
- Be tactful and sensitive. Even if a problem doesn't appear important to you, in someone else's world it could be devastating. Be mindful of this.
- Listen carefully - not just to the words people are saying but to their body language as well. Humans have adopted a tactic to use as little information as possible to try communicate a message.
- Understand the person you are talking to. Everyone's minds work differently. If you are close enough to a person, you will realize these small quirks.
Don't have expectations.It may be fun to fantasize about perfect situations, but expecting these to become a reality will only bring heartache. Learning to accept a person the way they are - flaws and all - is important in a relationship. Understand that you may end up in difficult situations with them, or you both may make mistakes. However, the key is to work through your problems together, as well as finding the lesson in every circumstance.
- Strive for improvement, but never seek perfection.
- Sometimes, situations may not turn out how you hoped they would. However, don't let that discourage you. Instead, make the best of what you get. No matter how awful the results may be, there are always lessons hiding in every situation.
- Try not build up things in your mind. Exaggerating circumstances will inevitably hurt if it doesn't turn out like you'd hoped.
- Don't assume people will perform certain actions, such as washing the dishes or buying you gifts. If you can avoid too many expectations, you will never be disappointed.
Don't just treat the symptom.People will show symptoms of problems they're having within themselves; this can manifest in a variety of ways. In a hypothetical scenario, we have a couple that has been together for some time. We'll name them Linda and Carl. Linda is upset with Carl because Carl is playing a video game. This devolves into an argument. Carl and Linda both believe the problem is Carl playing the video game. However, if you analyse the situation, you'll discover Linda is upset because she is lonely, and she is bored. She is expecting Carl to entertain her, or at least be sensitive to her sadness. When he isn't she's assuming he doesn't care.
- Always look for the root of problems.
- Arguments and displays of anger directed at other people are usually just symptoms of a deeper problem.
- Try treating the cause of the problem, not just the symptom. In the above scenario, even if Carl stopped playing video games, it wouldn't solve the problem.
Respect each other.When relationships break down, it's usually because one of the parties has lost respect for the other or both have. Losing respect has a huge impact on the health of a relationship. If you treat each other with the utmost respect your relationship will be happy and long-lived.
- Name calling in arguments causes the loss of respect.
- Cheating in a relationship is definitely a sign of no respect from the cheating party.
- Respect extends past just the person you're in a relationship with. Have respect for their belongings, family, views, opinions, and beliefs.
- Don't belittle each other, as this will break down your respect for each other.
- Always remember to show respect to other people, no matter who they are.
- Even if another person may have offended you, treat them with respect.
Make sure you're working towards the same goal.People will enter and exit your life; some will be friends, some lovers, and some family. It is important to understand the goal of each relationship. If necessary, communicate this goal with the other party. In long term romantic relationships, it is imperative that you're working towards the same objective. It doesn't help if Linda wants to travel the world while Carl wishes to settle down and have a family. Even if one party choose to denounce their goals and adopt their partner's, they'll never be truly happy. If Carl decides that he will travel with Linda, he will always hold regret and resentment towards Linda. This will make him lose respect for her, resulting in the relationship breaking down.
- Understand what you want from a relationship.
- Put thought and time into what you want to achieve.
- Never assume the other person wants the same goal. If you're unsure, ask.
- If you discover the other person doesn't want the same things as you, understand that your relationship will have a lot more problems, as well as a lot more compromise and sacrifice. Sometimes, it is better to sever the relationship.
Be honest.If there is a lack of honesty, it is tied to a lack of trust and - with enough lies - a lack of respect.
- Build trust in your relationship.
- Recovering from lies is difficult and, depending on the person, can be unforgivable.
- Respect your partner enough to be honest with them.
- Never use honesty as a weapon, don't point out flat truths as a means to hurt someone, most people are very aware of their flaws, and this can breakdown a relationship.
Realize that relationships change.People are not stagnant; they move around and change their minds and beliefs. Understand that the dynamic of your relationship will change over time. Learn to appreciate the change for what it is. Pining over what it was like in the beginning of your relationship will hurt you in the end.
Be grateful.Learn to be thankful for the relationships you make. Even if the relationships end, be grateful for the memories, happiness, and lessons each one has given you.
I'm worried I'm falling for him too quickly and he makes me feel things I've never felt. I know he's serious but I'm scared.what should I do?
- Not everyone will like you. Don't try be someone you aren't to impress people.
- Be honest with yourself.
- Figure out who you are and what you want.
- Understand you are worthy of love and of happiness.
- Love a lot.
- Love yourself.
- If someone doesn't like you, it's not your fault. Don't force others to like you if you want to be happy.
- Understand what others like. The basis of long relationship is understanding each other.
- If someone doesn't care about you, no matter what you do, and no matter how far you go for them, just leave them and don't force yourself, otherwise you will feel more heartache.
- Forgive people for not being who you want them to be.
- Not all relationships work out. If they do end, let them go gracefully.
- You're only human. Don't be so hard on yourself.
- Don't give of yourself to the point where you have nothing left.
Video: 5 Ways to Deal With a Break Up
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