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50 Fictional Male Characters We’d Totally F*ck
Eric Northman, "True Blood"
We'd gladly trade our mortality for the chance to have nordic vampire Eric suck on our neck.
Tim Riggins, "Friday Night Lights"
He may be in high school, but there's nothing boyish about Tim Riggins. Between his long hair, ripped body and bad boy persona, we have a hard time focusing on anything else when watching this brilliant football drama.
Will McAvoy, "The Newsroom"
Not only is the HBO character totally brilliant, but he's razor-sharp, sarcastic, reckless, and totally lovesick, which all makes for one really, really sexy character.
Mr. Big, "Sex and the City"
Mr. Big sort of represents every unhealthy relationship we've ever had. Yes, he excels at the ever-seductive withholding dance, but there's something about him that keeps us coming back for more. Plus, he really did love Carrie.
Tommy Gavin, "Rescue Me"
If you think Denis Leary is just a stan-up comedian with little appeal, watch this FX drama, on which he played an angry firefighter full of angry hard sex, angry hard booze, and plenty of angry hard-to-overcome issues. #Hot.
John Luther, "Luther"
The violent Detective Chief Inspector is hot and catches bad guys. What else does one need to know? Oh, and then there's that whole sexy British accent thing. Way to be totally hot, Idris Elba.
Jamal Lyon, "Empire"
Jussie Smollett plays this character with such talent, intensity, and swagger, we don't care that we're women writing this story and he's openly gay—both on the show and IRL.
Don Draper, "Mad Men"
He sees something he wants, and he takes it. Plus, he's so good looking it makes us overlook all of his bad flaws, like possible alcoholism and constant philandering.
Coach Eric Taylor, "Friday Night Lights"
While we can't help but want to bed the young hot athletes featured on the NBC drama (See: Tim Riggins), we also want the star of the show: the team's thoughtful, no-nonsense, sexy coach. As long as we wouldn't have to talk football, that is.
Pacey Witter, "Dawson's Creek"
It sort of makes us feel like pervs to lust after a high school student, but then again, we were underage, too, when we first fell in love with the wise-cracking Capeside resident. Dawson may have been Joey's soulmate, but Pacey held Joey's heart—and ours. And lucky for us, Pacey was into older women, like teacher Tamara Jacobs.
Jon Snow, "Game of Thrones"
His steamy cave scene showed that he knows how to please a woman ("I just wanted to kiss you there, is all"), plus that whole vow of chastity thing makes it all seem super naughty and forbidden.
Jesse Pinkman, "Breaking Bad"
The cooking meth part doesn't bother us so much as the fact that every one of his girlfriends ends up dead. Maybe we could just make it a one night stand?
Christian Gray, '50 Shades of Gray'
A wealthy young entrepreneur who corrupts a shy college student with his penchant for S&M? Sign us up!
Dickie Greenleaf, "The Talented Mr. Ripley"
It doesn't much hotter than a tan, toned, totally spoiled American socialite killing time and spending daddy's money in 1950s Italy. Sure, he was a total cad, but there was a reason why every single person who met him fell madly in love with him—womenandmen. Plus, he's got an absolutely killer sense of style.
Kevin Garvey, Jr. "The Leftovers"
Sure, Mapleton's chief of police is prone to blackouts and might be going completely crazy, but that doesn't make watching an incredibly sexy Justin Theroux play him any less thrilling.
Paul Martel, "Unfaithful"
Yeah, yeah we know—cheating is wrong. But if someone as good looking and sexy as Paul came into our life, well, we'd have to think twice about going home to our husband, too.
David McCall, "Fear"
We know it's a slightly unhealthy infatuation, but we desperately want to get it on with David. Sure, he ends up being a psychopath who tries to kill his girlfriend's family, but in the first half of the movie he was pretty normal (and sexy as hell). We'll never look at rollercoasters the same way again.
Derek Wills, "Smash"
A brilliant and bossy British theater director who's a hard-drinking womanizing cad? Sign us up! But really, this character grew over two seasons and we saw that behind his scruffy posh English hotness, he wasn't so bad after all.
Our latest obsession is The CW's "Reign," and we'd say about 95% of that is due to its lead, Bash. That tousled black hair, those piercing blue eyes, that English accent…need we say more?
Wade Kinsella, "Hart of Dixie"
We may be some of the only people who watch "Hart of Dixie," but it's solely for Wade. He may play the "lazy" bartender, but every time he takes off his shirt or whispers snarky one-liners into Zoe's ear our hearts melt and we consider moving down south.
Sebastian Valmont, "Cruel Intentions"
He was slimy at the beginning of the classic '90s film, but his love for Annette (played by Reese Witherspoon) transformed him. Now every time we ride up an escalator, we hope he's there, waiting for us.
President Fitzgerald Grant, "Scandal"
Oh Fitz! Sure, he may be a cheater, but he's leader of the free world—let him do what he wants. And please let him do it with us.
Angel, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
Aside from that pesky gypsy curse (and murdering all of your friends), he's absolutely perfect—loyal, chiseled abs you can grate cheese on, even that 90s spiky hair had us going.
Dylan, "Friends With Benefits"
Dylan gives Jamie a street artist painting and takes her home to meet his family before they're even a couple. The guy's thoughtful (and fun) as hell, and we want him all to ourselves.
Jack Shephard, "Lost"
There was a small love triangle in "Lost" between Jack, Sawyer and Kate, but if you ask us, there was no question about who Kate should be with. Not only was Jack a doctor, but he was a natural leader. We're so glad Kate ended up with him in the afterlife—or whatever that was.
Adam, "Magic Mike"
He's the new guy who takes on a bit too much but learns and grows by the end of the movie, plus he's got the best tattoos of all the strippers. Yum.
Rio, "Jem and the Holograms"
So what if he's a cartoon? So what if he was cheating on Jerrica with Jem? (They're the same person; does it really count?) He's got purple hair, a killer wardrobe, and claim to our '90s hearts.
Aidan Shaw, "Sex and the City"
He already had a cottage in the woods, a cute dog, and built his own furniture, but once he cut his hair and bought a bar, the man couldn't be stopped. Damn you, Carrie, for breaking his heart.
Edward Lewis, "Pretty Woman"
If being a prostitute means getting to go on expensive shopping sprees and boning someone as hot as Edward…No, we still wouldn't be able to do it, but we'd at least consider it.
Romeo, "Romeo + Juliet"
Romeo is such a sexy character on his own, but when you combine that with the hotness of Leonardo DiCaprio, our minds explode.
Jacob Palmer, "Crazy, Stupid, Love."
This doesn't really need an explantion, but his whole "too suave for life" character that transforms to actually find true love gets us every time. Also, the shirtless scene with the rain falling in the background as they reenact "Dirty Dancing?" Cannot resist.
William Thacker, "Notting Hill"
Hugh Grant plays a shy bookstore owner is this '90s rom-com, who ulitmately lands the world's biggest movie star (played by Julia Roberts) with his floppy, sweet, oh-so-British charm.
Dylan McKay, "Beverly Hills 90210"
A brooding bad boy that at once was deep, sensitive, and intelligent, Luke Perry made this character one we'd like to bone from the first episode through the last.
Logan Echolls, "Veronica Mars"
He started out as the bad boy, but seeing Logan's sexual chemistry with Veronica had us changing our tune about the popular Neptune student.
Randy, "Valley Girl"
He might be an outcast, but seeing Randy's complete infatuation with Julie makes us want to be back in high school, so we can be age appropriate for him.
Jordan Catalano, "My So-Called Life"
Angela wasn't the only one who had her eye on Jordan. The viewers at home were lusting after him right along with her. Yes, he was kind of dumb, but he was also oh-so-hot.
Neal Caffrey, "White Collar"
He's beautiful, has an appreciation for fine wine, and speaks eight different languages. Now we want him to talk dirty to us in all eight.
Jim Halpert, "The Office"
Jim stole our hearts with every goofy, charming smirk at the camera. His unrequited love for the engaged receptionist Pam Beesly came out in a slew of romantic gestures that had us searching our offices for our own personal Jim. Instead, all we found were a bunch of Dwights.
Lip Gallagher, "Shameless"
The eldest brother of the Gallagher clan, Lip is one of the smartest guys in the country, yet he doesn't want to institutionalize his brain. Between the fact that he can take down military intelligence and beat the crap out of anyone who messes with his family, the guy's a catch.
Stanley Kowalski, "A Streetcar Named Desire"
Before there was Don Draper, there was Stanley Kowalski. The ultimate alpha-male, things didn't work out too well for this classic Southern character in the end, but he's always been played with fierce, flawed intensity.
John Robie, "To Catch a Thief"
A retired jewel thief who now tends his vineyards in the French Riviera? Also, Cary Grant, dressed impeccably? Pretty much our dream man.
Jake Ryan, "Sixteen Candles"
Jake Ryan is a freaking dream boat. We just hope Samantha had the good sense to take that birthday cake and smear it all over his body once credits rolled.
Detective Elliot Stabler, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
It's hard not to get hot and bothered watching a man go out and catch bad guys who hurt women. And you know what makes him even hotter? The fact that he is a devoted and faithful family man.
Detective Stephen Holder, "The Killing"
Despite the fact that this cop is a recovering meth addict who talks and dresses like a hoodrat, he's totally sexy—despite his occasional anger issues.
Hawkeye, "Last of the Mohicans"
Hawkeye is like a character straight out of a romance novel — a hot-as-sin trapper, wearing loose-fitting tunics that barely cover his chest, who falls for the ladylike daughter of a British Colonel. (Just like he'd fall for us, obviously!) Few on-screen moments are as swoon-worthy as the one when Hawkeye grasps his lady love, Cora, under the waterfall and tells her, "I will find you."
Ben Covington, "Felicity"
Those who were Team Noel should just look away now. The truth is Ben is the one we wanted. He was the stereotypical bad boy, but he was able to romance the pants off Felicity—literally—when he wanted to.
Jesse Katsopolis, "Full House"
Sure the show's hokey, but John Stamos is hot AF as rock-and-rolling uncle Jesse who's (rightfully) obsessed with his hair.Wewere obsessed with his skin-tight jeans, deep V-neck tees, candle-filled "Forever" music video, and insane sex appeal.
Lloyd Dobler, "Say Anything"
Everyone likes to point to the scene where Lloyd holds up the radio as being the most romantic gesture, but we prefer the part where he stars shivering after having sex with Diane Court for the first time and says it's because he's happy. Our hearts melt every time.
Doug Ross, "E.R."
Much as we may rebel against our mothers, there's a party of every gal that fantasizes about falling for a doctor — and Doug Ross is a pediatrician, which makes him even more adorable. He also has a great sense of humor and puppy dog eyes.
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